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The most Egregious thing ever posted on the Internet

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This is an "Obama-nation"

In a shocking move on Thursday, President elect Barack Obama signed an executive order to have the white house repainted, and renamed, to a color other than white. Barack stated in a press conference, "This building, this symbol of hope around the world, this beacon of freedom for all freedom loving people will no longer be referred to as the white house. This is a new era, an era of opportunity for all people, all colors, all faiths, all backgrounds. We cannot stand for a house with a name and a color that symbolizes the racist, separatist, views of our white leaders of the past."

Many former John McCain supporters cried foul and said they would not stand for this. One detractor from Alabama said, " My friends, he's not even President yet, how can he change the name of the home that George Washington built." Others made statements that could not be published by this blog. Clearly president elect Obama's move to rename the White House to something other than it's former name, maybe even the Black House, has set a tone in Washington that has ruffled some feathers.

During the same press conference Obama also stated that he would not be opposed to corporate sponsors sponsoring the inauguration ball at the white house, even such companies as Colt 45, KFC, or Newport cigarettes as long as they made an ample contribution to Union labor causes.

Right wing voters are beside themselves and are preparing a response that will likely include legal action to block the painting of a national landmark. The Fox news channel and EIB network switchboards were so overwhelmed on Thursday that painters and plumbers across America took extended lunch breaks trying to get through to receive guidance regarding what to think about this issue from their mentors Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly. Those that could not get through spoke of a coordinated conspiracy by Union telecommunication workers and many vowed revenge.

Stay tuned for further developments...

Letter to the American Taxpayer

Dear Congress:

Please consider my request for a bridge loan so that I can continue to support the Twiggy family. Without a bridge loan I'll be unable to continue to pay our bills and meet our monthly obligations. We've really tried hard the last number of years but somehow we just don't have enough money to pay for everything during these tough economic times. Without a loan we'll likely lose our home which will further exacerbate the housing crisis.

Our family has endured a number of difficult life circumstances recently and we need some added liquidity to get us through this difficult time. Please consider that the Twiggy family keeps a number of Americans employed; from the bartender at O'Malleys, to the clerk at Macy's, and lest we forget the little Indian guy at the tobacco shop. If we are unable to sustain our current lifestyle, and go bankrupt, many other Americans will be negatively affected, resulting in further job cuts and impacts to the economy.

If you agree to provide this loan, and help us during this difficult time, we'll make some changes to tighten our belts. We'll gradually cut out the Sushi dinners, reduce our alcohol consumption at the bar, and phase out all tobacco products over the next five years. We certainly don't expect the government alone to fix all of our financial problems.

If you are unable to assist us at this time we'll certainly be disappointed but we will survive, because we are survivors. If you can't approve our loan please forward this letter to the Welfare Department and request that an application for Welfare Support be mailed to our return address.

Thanks for your consideration.

Twiggy & Family

Baby Picture

Congratulations to Diesel and KT on the birth of their first child. At approximately 3:20am this morning momma gave birth to a little diesel while the Cannonball run song played softly in the background. Congratulations! Baby picture attached.

Well we're just one day away from the Vikings vs. Packers border battle game and fans are anxious for the Minnesota Vikings to get their first victory over the Packers with Brad Childress as head couch.

The usual excitement and friendly banter about the game turned to disgust this week when Michael Montgomery said in a press conference at Lambeau Field that he fully intended to show Gus Ferotte the same "love" he had shown Kyle Orton earlier this season at Soldier Field.

Montgomery, referring to an incident that occurred in week eight in a game against the Chicago Bears, was fined for inappropriate touching to the swimsuit area by commissioner Roger Goodell. Montogomery said he was excited about "getting to" Ferotte, and that he would be charging Ferotte like an angry proposition 8 protester. Upon further questioning he went on to say that he wasn't concerned about being fined again by the league and that he would seek to "violate" anyone that got in his way on Sunday.

Coach Mike McCarthy said when asked about the comments, "Montgomery is a passionate player that will do what ever it takes to win even if it means violating league rules and opposing players privates."

Later that same day, Ferotte was asked if he had heard about the comments Montgomery had made. He paused, his face became pale and then he said " I'm feeling good about our chances on Sunday and I'm going to do everything I can to get Tarvarias ready for the game," as he quickly stepped away from reporters. Sources later said that Ferotte approached coach Childress shortly after the interview and complained of back spasms and wanted to be taken out of the line up.

Paris wants to be a mommy...

This is an entertaining piece of writing. Paris Hilton -

GM … the new Dell?

General Motors Corp. said Friday it lost $2.5 billion in the third quarter and warned that it could run out of cash in 2009 if the U.S. economic slump continues and it doesn't get government aid, according to the Associated Press.

GM announced it would improve liquidity by $5 billion by the end of next year by cutting capital spending, reducing sales promotions, and further cutting production in the first quarter. The company also suspended its matching contribution for employee 401K plans, and suspended tuition reimbursement. In addition, salaried employees will not get incentive pay next year for their work in 2008. GM increased its plan to reduce salaried worker costs to 30 percent. During the summer, the company announced a 20 percent cut.

The new paradigm in business seems to be taking away employee benefits (see the Dell post). The next logical step appears to be stripping workers of their health insurance plans and charging tolls to use the company restroom. It looks like the market is painfully starting to bury risk-takers one at a time.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people voted for me.

Stuart Smalley (err, Al Franken's) deficit: 239 votes

A New High, And By High I Mean Low

The nation's unemployment rate bolted to a 14-year high of 6.5 percent in October as another 240,000 jobs were cut, stark proof the economy is almost certainly in a recession, according to The Associated Press. The new snapshot, released Friday by the Labor Department, showed the crucial jobs market deteriorating at an alarmingly rapid pace.

I'm pretty sure the context in which they say "high" is not meant in a positive manner. I'm pretty sure they don't mean it like, "I just set a new high score in Donkey Kong." And I'm almost entirely certain they didn't mean it like, "Dude, Dave the Painter was so Cheech-and-Chong High last night." Just don't quote me on that.

Well the election is finally behind us and we've elected a new leader. I for one was pleased with the outcome. Not so much because I believe that Barack Obama is the best representation of me, and me alone, but because I believe he will be the best leader and representative for everyone in the country.

I've never been discriminated against because of race, sex, or creed - so I don't claim to understand it -but watching the out pouring of emotion that I saw in Grant park on Tuesday night was moving. Thousands of our fellow Americans around this country found some kind of redemption in a black man being elected to the highest office in the land. Reading reports and editorials the next day were so intriguing because many blacks didn't believe he would win, regardless of the countless states that were awarded to him throughout the night, until they actually announced him as the next President at 10:00:02 that night, they really believed that it would somehow be taken from them.

I never thought President Obama represented everything that I believe in, but I did evaluate the candidates and chose the one that I thought was best, based on the needs of the country - not just my needs. I feel good about the fact that millions of people in this country that thought they couldn't reach their full potential now somehow think maybe they can because Barack did. It seems foolish, but again, I've never lived with discrimination and I don't claim to understand it.

I'll be praying for President Obama as I have for every President. I don't think he is a terrorist, and I never believed the republican smear machine that twisted many of the facts about him. In my opinion, he may be the most influential leader of my lifetime akin to Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr., and Ronald Reagan. As Americans we should all wish him the best - our lifestyles depend on it.

As for Senator McCain - He is an American hero and an inspiration to all that serve their country. His concession speech was the best I've ever seen and really highlighted his national hero status with me. He should be admired by all. However, I always did believe the Pundits and I never believed the Mac was back.

Peace - Twiggy.

P.S. - that has to be a Newport or a Kool.

Don't Fake the Funk

Sen. Norm Coleman's lead over challenger Al Franken in the U.S. Senate race got even tighter Wednesday, virtually guaranteeing a recount that would be Minnesota's largest ever, according to Startribune.com. And the recount could stretch well into next month.

On Wednesday, Coleman claimed victory when his unofficial lead over Franken ballooned to 725 votes out of roughly 2.9 million. By day’s end, though, as officials from around the state sent adjusted figures to the state, that margin had dropped to 477 votes.

Tell me this ... I voted on Tuesday and colored in a number of little circles on a white sheet of paper that I slid into a machine when I was finished. I believe it's called "Casting a ballot." Now it seems to me that this box I slid that piece of paper into was some sort of computer (possibly something called a scanner?). However, I'm beginning to think there might have been a midget (or some other “little person”) in that box who took my ballot and went to a chalkboard and tallied a mark for whomever I voted for. It's the only way humanly possible that I can see the numbers changing. Can someone please clarify if there truly is a midget (or possibly a dwarf or elf?) inside that box?

Ironically, I'm unsure why I've attached this photo of Adam Morrison and Yao Ming.

Clean, fresh feeling

Did you get a whiff of that rotten smell yesterday? It’s called a deuce or a dutch, or in political terms it’s called the Republican Party. It sure felt refreshing to wake up this morning after thoroughly enjoying the Republican Party enema the United States received last night.

Will work for food (free?)

Computer maker Dell has asked employees to consider taking up to five days of unpaid vacation and is offering voluntary severance packages, according to Reuters. Dell has also instituted a global hiring freeze. Chief Executive Michael Dell announced the moves in an impersonal email to employees Monday.

Here are some interesting details I found regarding Michael Dell’s compensation for 2007. Keep in mind, I’m just too lazy to see what his compensation package looks like for the current year, though I’d gather he’s still making his mortgage payments.

In 2007, after Michael Dell re-took control of the day-to-day operations of his company, he brought home $4.5 million in pay from his Round Rock, Texas-based company. But he failed to qualify for incentive-based bonuses, which would have considerably raised his income. Dell’s $4.5 million compensation included $950k in salary in addition to company-paid security and option awards, according to the PC maker.

Now let's do some hypothetical’s.

Let’s pretend the average Dell employee is making $70k a year, which I realize is probably on the high side but humor me here. That equates to roughly $1,342 per week. Paradoxically, if Michael Dell took one week of unpaid vacation based on last year’s earnings, it would equate to $86,538, which is nearly $16k more than the yearly base salary of the “typical” employee I’m talking about. If 3,353 employees took a week of unpaid vacation, it would equate to Michael Dell’s compensation for 2007. I realize the argument would be Michael Dell is paid accordingly to the service he provides. After all, he runs one of the largest computer makers in the world. But I pose this question to you, my friends: Should Michael Dell forego his entire salary, including any bonuses, when the company is suffering disastrous losses which promptly sparks its leader to layoff 8,500 employees and ask its remaining employees to take unpaid vacations?

Breaking News...

Presidential candidate John McCain has already conceded Tuesday's election to Barack Obama with exactly zero percent of the votes having been reported. Nobody took the news harder than McCain’s own Joe the Plumber, whose financial windfall from such a poorly run campaign was astonishing. Senior citizens were allegedly so upset that they were left with no other option but to cancel their 3 PM dinner reservations at Old Country Buffets across the nation, rocking Wall Street and causing the stock market to plunge. Sarah Palin was so distraught that she did what any other good hockey mom would do: went shopping and spent her husband’s hard-earned money. Fear is that rioting may breakout at nursing homes across the United States once geriatrics are awoken from their afternoon slumber. Law enforcement officials are bracing for the worse.

Rock Bottom

On Nov. 4, 2008 the drunken orgy will be over for the Republican Party. They'll have officially hit rock bottom like the drunk that wakes up in his own vomit...

After alienating those that believed in the party and its conservative message of fiscal responsibility, a balanced budget, a strong military, and the Ronald Reagan era of crossing the isle to get things done, they deserve what is coming to them tomorrow. They're going to wake up to one hell of a hangover and realize the House, the Senate, and the Presidency have all slipped away.

They have no one to blame but themselves. What does the party stand for anymore? I'm not sure I know... They've over spent, allowed for under regulated financial markets, guided the country on the worst foreign policy path in our history, and extremely weakened the strength of our military.

What new and fresh ideas did they bring to this presidential campaign? Drill, baby drill! Are you kidding me? What kind of forward looking leadership is that? If McCain and Palin are the best they've got to put on a presidential ticket the party really has some soul searching to do.

In my opinion, a sweeping loss tomorrow is what must happen to sober up the drunk. They turned their back on everything they stood for and tomorrow the intervention of the drunk will take place. They'll have to face everyone that supported them and admit their failures.

Step one - admit that you have a problem. I hope they are able to see that they have alienated their base. I for one have no idea what the party stands for anymore.

One day at a time. They'll have 1460 days of Obama to sober up.

Back to the Future

Last night I jumped into the passengers seat of Doc Brown's Delorian and took a spin back to 1988 - I had my twentieth high school reunion. Memories of big hair, Ronald Reagan, friendship pins, the Twins World Series, and the cliques that happen in high school all came rushing back to memory.

There were about fifty former classmates that attended out of a class of 369 – kind of sad. When I first arrived it was cool, everyone saying hello and being cordial, catching up on twenty years of getting married, having kids, getting divorced, and some looking for Mr./Ms. Right number two.

It was a cash bar event and so the majority of people were hanging out in front of the bar. As the night wore on and the alcohol flowed more freely (typical east side party) the groups split up and moved to different tables in the banquet room. I couldn't help but look around the room and think that the social situation of the room was precisely where we had left off in 1988. In fact, the high school-ish type rumors even started back up, so and so is dead, so and so had a kid with so and so, it was really entertaining... As the hair bands of the eighties played in the background I watched a washed up Gymnast and a former book worm, now eccentric Yoga instructor, find a love connection that would have never happened in 1988.

Time really doesn't change people, but situations do change. As we move through life, have our triumphs, and make our mistakes I think we somehow become more tolerant of other people. Maybe we realize that the world we thought we knew at 18 is somehow more complicated at 38? At about 11pm I loaded my tipsy wife up into the Delorian and we charged it up to 100,000 gigawatts and catapulted back to 2008.

It's nice to be back.

Outrage Rocks a Nation

McCain counters Obama infomercial with Dukes of Hazard Rerun

Not to be out done by Barack Obama's infomercial that aired on major networks Tuesday night, John McCain plans to pay for a rerun of the Dukes of Hazard to run on Monday night during prime time just one day before the election. McCain plans to run the one where the Dukes out smart Boss Hog at the end and manage to avoid going to jail - you know the one... At each of the cut scenes where the picture would normally stop and you'd hear a whity comment by Waylon Jennings, you'll hear McCain talk about how he'll pump oil to fuel big gas guzzlers like the General Lee, that he will not raise taxes on farmers like Unca Jesse (miss spelled intentionally), and that he'll support a woman's right to wear short shorts like Daisy Duke.

The last ten minutes of the episode will feature the General Lee in a race with Kit (the black car) at the Hazard County fairgrounds. The race will be heated, involve flaming arrows shot from a bow, and will go through a variety of terrain in the back country of the great state of Georgia. In the end Bo Duke driving the General will snooker Kit by finding a short cut to win the race. At the end of the episode Daisy, Unca Jesse, Bo, and Luke will all hug, twirl Daisy around in the air, and celebrate their big win. Then, reportedly, McCain will walk into the scene and say, "My friends, Kit may be the younger, city slicker looking car but it doesn't have the proven experience of the General Lee." McCain then will jump through the window of the General and do a tire blowing burn out while yelling out the window, "If you vote for that one, he won't pump the oil we need. Drive your big SUV to the polls tomorrow and vote for me. I'm John McCain and I approve this message - Yeee ha," as the smoke billows from the back of the General until McCain disappears into the horizon.

TGIF

Big John Stud is at it again. PGA Tour golfer John Daly was taking into custody Sunday morning after he was found drunk outside a Winston-Salem area Hooters restaurant, according to the Associated Press.

Police said in a statement Wednesday that officers arrived on scene for a medical call. When they go to the restaurant, Daly was being treated by emergency workers after losing consciousness. According to the report, Daly “appeared extremely intoxicated and uncooperative.” The report also said Daly repeatedly refused to be taken to the hospital and he was also asked to leave several times by Hooters employees.

Daly was subsequently taken to the Forsyth County Law Enforcement Center drunk tank for a 24-hour stay, until he was sober.

First, the AP report is not entirely accurate. Daly wasn’t found “drunk outside a Winston-Salem area Hooters.” He was (to more accurately describe it) found "passed out in front of a Winston-Salem area Hooters." Anyone who has ever had a dozen beers, a half-dozen Jag Bombs, and a steamy plate full of Hooters hot wings knows the difference. And it’s a big difference. You see, in the former you can get disorderly, which it sounds as though Big John was at some point, that point being before he reached the latter. In the latter, better known as “blacking out,” Daly was sleeping peacefully, thankfully not choking on his own vomit. Big difference.

Looking at Daly’s mug shot, it’s certainly going to take longer than 24-hours for him to "sober up." In fact, they might as well start pumping him full of Advil and water, and they better restock the bloody Mary bar. It’s gotten so sad for the PGA pro that even David Hasselhoff said, “What an embarrassing display. I hope that guy gets better.” Keep in mind Hasselhoff had coitus with a cheeseburger in front of his 12-year-daughter – all of which was produced for YouTube viewing.

When the going gets tough, the tough … sue?

Incumbent senator Norm Coleman’s campaign is suing democratic candidate Al Franken’s campaign for violating state campaign law, charging that recent Franken TV and radio ads contain lies about Coleman, according to the Startribune.com.

Contain lies? Really? The audacity of Al Franken.

Listen, being accused of lying on the campaign trail is akin to being accused of using steroids in Major League Baseball. Hell, it’s a right of passage, a badge of honor. It’s like banging a really hot chick and telling everyone you banged a really hot chick, though all you really did is beat off to a picture of a really hot chick. Those are superfluous details, right? Basically running an efficient campaign is like pretending it’s April’s Fool Day – everyday. You, Norm Coleman, out of anyone should already know this. Shame on you, Norm Coleman … shame on you.

Don’t they embalm you after you're dead?

OUR GREAT COUNTY, ALASKA – On Thursday, Republicans finally received the boost they needed to practically ensure victory on Election Day when Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry spoke up on behalf of Republican candidate John McCain. "We pretty much stay out of it, but seeing so many people come out for Obama, I just felt like 'What the hell, I might as well raise my hand for this side,'" Perry told the Boston Herald.

Unfortunately for the McCain camp, getting an endorsement from Perry is like Jesus Christ himself getting an endorsement from the devil. McCain, who was on the other side of 50-years-old when Aerosmith hit the charts with “Dream On,” combed through the 8-track tape collection in his Chevrolet El Camino searching for an Aerosmith cassette on Wednesday after hearing the news of his latest endorsement. Regretfully, the only cassettes to be found were The Big Bopper, Buddy Holly & The Crickets and Booker T & The MG’s.

“Buddy Holly & The Crickets,” McCain said, squeezing his eye like Poppey and chucking to himself, “now there’s a band that should play at the inaugural ball in January after Sarah Palin and I win the Presidential nomination.”

Palin, who was attending a hockey game in her home state of Alaska, commented on her boss’s gaffe. “The Maverick, unfortunately, had just waked from his afternoon nap and hadn’t had his Alzheimer’s medication when he was asked about Mr. Joe Perry’s endorsement, which we greatly appreciate and think will help bring out a key demographic that we hadn’t counted on for votes: the 40- to 60-year-old stoner vote. Or at least that’s what my wonderful husband, Todd, told me after he got back from a bar-hopping trip on his snow machine.”

To fully complete the circle, the McCain camp is still awaiting its last prized endorsement from … Keith Richards.

Who is Barack Obama?

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Top Ten reasons why "Bedrest" aka "Workrest" doesn't suck

10. You get a free laptop and broadband wireless card from your employer

9. Pajamas 24 - 7

8. Your ass grows a leather couch

7. Bitch and moan all you want - it's the hormones

6. Unlimited requests can be made for someone else to run to the store

5. Your commute time to work is decreased by 99.9%

4. Full control of the clicker - no more ESPN

3. The Execubitch privelege option can be envoked at anytime, for any reason

2. You're well rested for the next non-work related function

1. It's the ultimate "working from home" experience

Christian Out Reach Services

The work they do in the community is really amazing.

http://www.vulomedia.com/images/27424vagrepair.jpg

Spring training cancelled to finish World Series

Does anyone else see the stupidity in playing 99% of your sports' games in hot summer weather and then playing the championship games in rain and sleeting conditions? A 2010 Cubs/Twins World Series wouldn't get finished until Mid-May the following year. If Al Gore is right (and only a fool would believe otherwise) MLB should shorten the regular season to end on Sept. 1 and play the World Series in a neutral site that today we call, "the North Pole". In a couple of years, it should be a perfect baseball weather up there. Plus, the addition of Polar Bear burgers and baby seal nuggets would be a welcome change from the typical ballpark food.
Get you tickets in advance at aninconvientworldseries.com.

Thank you Jimmy and local law enforcement

I would like to thank the Woodbury Police Dept, the Washington County Sheriffs Dept, and the St Paul Police Dept for the outstanding effort they put forth to locate Dave the painter and safely return him to the Twiggyandthediesel blog. I was having nightmares of a Jennifer Hudson's nephew scenario playing out but thankfully Dave the painter was quickly located and safely returned to the blogging community.

They searched utilizing all of the tools available to them. They searched by air, by boat, they had every police cruiser looking for the red Durango with tenticles , they used retarded kids to staple pictures of Dave to all of the power polls, they had volunteers linked hand and hand combing the farm fields of east Woodbury. Thankfully, Jimmy was watching TV at O'Malleys when the Amber alert was posted on the bottom of the screen. Jimmy quickly contacted law enforcement officials to let them know he had located Dave the painter at O'Malley's, and he was safely snuggled into bar stool having a double jack-coke.

The Diesel is finally worthy

Sorry for the delay. I wasn't abducted, I just wasn't invited.

With the most important election of our time just a week away, there is a group of people who need to have their citizenship revoked- undecided voters. If you are undecided at this point, it would be more patriotic to not vote at all on Nov. 4th. The two candidates have very different views on how to run this country and have established that over the last year or so. Maybe these yahoos get off on the attention the media gives them. Maybe they like going into a room during the debates like a group of 3rd graders and pushing a lever up when a candidate makes them feel happy and pushing it down when they feel sad. No matter what the reason, if they haven't made a decision by now, they are either uninformed or unintelligent and should sit this one out.

Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/southern_sheriff_pulls_over_obama

The Hierarchy of the Food chain

A number of weeks ago I noticed my Asian neighbor that lives behind me was raising pigeons and doves. I thought this was a little odd, but upon thinking about it further I thought to each their own. Who am I to think someone else is weird? After all, people may think I am weird for having two unruly dogs.

Today the same neighbor came over and pounded on the door until I answered - I mean pounded... I make it a habit to not answer the door during election season because it is usually some douche bag wanting to talk me into believing their politics. When I opened the door it was my little Asian neighbor. He was in a panic like a mother that had lost her three year old at the mall. He was talking so fast and with such panic It took a little bit for me to understand what was wrong.

As it turns out Mr. Ly was out training his pigeons to return (think boomerang) after a little flight around theneighborhood when a Hawk came out of no where and attempted to assassinate one of the pigeons. In a moment of greatness the pigeon, in the midst of a dire situation, dove quickly to the ground and landed in my backyard. Then as a last ditch effort to save it's own life it ran under my deck. Apparently Hawks do not go under decks? You learn something new everyday? When I fully understood the magnitude of the near tragic events I quickly gave Mr. Ly permission to enter my yard in an attempt to retrieve his pet pigeon. I watched him attempt to retrieve his physically and psychologically damaged pet with a fish net and long stick for about 10 minutes. It was as entertaining as the last time I went to the circus. Mr. Ly eventually retrieved his pet and I could see that there was some damage to the pigeons wing with a small trickle of blood emerging from the body.

As he was leaving he thanked me again for letting him get the pigeon. He loaded up the pigeon in his Scion station wagon and drove it home. All afternoon I couldn't help but wonder what he would do once the pigeon was back home. Do you take a pigeon to the veterinarian? Did he tape a Popsicle stick to its wing and put a band aid on the wound? Does anyone know what the care protocol is for a physically and psychologically damaged pet pigeon?

Amber Alert

In case anyone is worried about the diesel, I've officially put out an Amber alert on him. He's either not paid his broadband wireless bill or he's six figures into the local book.

Celeb Rehab - VH1

Is anyone watching Celebrity Rehab on VHI? Steven Adler shows a stark resemblance to Maggy on an all day bender.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHC2eE7M6io

Let's try that again: Redistribution of wealth

Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "Vote Obama, I need the money." I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a "Obama 08" tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to
him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.

Redistribution of wealth

Why would I work hard for someone else to not work hard? Am I missing something on this one? I just don't understand this way of thinking. For me it goes all the way back to the story we all hear in elementary school about the squirrel that procrastinated and didn't hide enough nuts to make it through the winter. Then wanted the other squirrels that worked hard to bury nuts to share with him.

Al Qaeda may have dave the painter

I still haven't heard from Dave the painter. This is the best lead I have. Please help if you have any information...

http://adsoftheworld.com/media/print/bild_kidnapped

Has anyone heard from the diesel?

I'm officially not posting anything new (only comments) until the diesel gets involved. Sure he's locked down right now rubbing the bunyan's for Katie but come on, throw us a bone here. This blog was started in order to get witty comments and sports lines from the diesel.

I've put out an amber alert for him. Let's hope the windowless van is located.

Joe the Plumber

How did "Joe the plumber - fka Joe six pack" get catapulted to fame in a presidential debate by some jerk off asking a stupid question about owning a plumbing business? If you watch the actual exchange between Obama and "Joe the plumber," Obama didn't even really take him seriously. However, McCain simply couldn't get enough of "Joe the plumber" when it came time to talk "turkey" about their differences in tax policy. McCain suggested that "Joe" would be worse off as a business owner under Obama's tax plan.

As it turns out, upon further investigation, "Joe the plumber" wasn't even a licensed plumber in the county he lives in. He also owes back taxes and there was no way he was ever going to buy the plumbing business anyway...

Joe Worzelbacher, aka Joe the plumber, was characterized by Joe Biden as a false idol of the Republican party. Well, I guess Biden was probably right because this "tool (likely a pipe wrench)" didn't even make close to the $250k, so why was he so concerned about people making over 250k paying higher taxes anyway? Joe Worzelbacher - what a female personal hygiene product...

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081016.wjoe1016/BNStory/International

My favorite quote from the attached link is: “Vote Joe the Plumber ‘08. No More Drips in the White House.”

November 4 can't come soon enough for Twiggy.