Not to be out done by Barack Obama's infomercial that aired on major networks Tuesday night, John McCain plans to pay for a rerun of the Dukes of Hazard to run on Monday night during prime time just one day before the election. McCain plans to run the one where the Dukes out smart Boss Hog at the end and manage to avoid going to jail - you know the one... At each of the cut scenes where the picture would normally stop and you'd hear a whity comment by Waylon Jennings, you'll hear McCain talk about how he'll pump oil to fuel big gas guzzlers like the General Lee, that he will not raise taxes on farmers like Unca Jesse (miss spelled intentionally), and that he'll support a woman's right to wear short shorts like Daisy Duke.
The last ten minutes of the episode will feature the General Lee in a race with Kit (the black car) at the Hazard County fairgrounds. The race will be heated, involve flaming arrows shot from a bow, and will go through a variety of terrain in the back country of the great state of Georgia. In the end Bo Duke driving the General will snooker Kit by finding a short cut to win the race. At the end of the episode Daisy, Unca Jesse, Bo, and Luke will all hug, twirl Daisy around in the air, and celebrate their big win. Then, reportedly, McCain will walk into the scene and say, "My friends, Kit may be the younger, city slicker looking car but it doesn't have the proven experience of the General Lee." McCain then will jump through the window of the General and do a tire blowing burn out while yelling out the window, "If you vote for that one, he won't pump the oil we need. Drive your big SUV to the polls tomorrow and vote for me. I'm John McCain and I approve this message - Yeee ha," as the smoke billows from the back of the General until McCain disappears into the horizon.
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