Thursday, December 4, 2008

The most Egregious thing ever posted on the Internet

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This is an "Obama-nation"


In a shocking move on Thursday, President elect Barack Obama signed an executive order to have the white house repainted, and renamed, to a color other than white. Barack stated in a press conference, "This building, this symbol of hope around the world, this beacon of freedom for all freedom loving people will no longer be referred to as the white house. This is a new era, an era of opportunity for all people, all colors, all faiths, all backgrounds. We cannot stand for a house with a name and a color that symbolizes the racist, separatist, views of our white leaders of the past."

Many former John McCain supporters cried foul and said they would not stand for this. One detractor from Alabama said, " My friends, he's not even President yet, how can he change the name of the home that George Washington built." Others made statements that could not be published by this blog. Clearly president elect Obama's move to rename the White House to something other than it's former name, maybe even the Black House, has set a tone in Washington that has ruffled some feathers.

During the same press conference Obama also stated that he would not be opposed to corporate sponsors sponsoring the inauguration ball at the white house, even such companies as Colt 45, KFC, or Newport cigarettes as long as they made an ample contribution to Union labor causes.

Right wing voters are beside themselves and are preparing a response that will likely include legal action to block the painting of a national landmark. The Fox news channel and EIB network switchboards were so overwhelmed on Thursday that painters and plumbers across America took extended lunch breaks trying to get through to receive guidance regarding what to think about this issue from their mentors Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly. Those that could not get through spoke of a coordinated conspiracy by Union telecommunication workers and many vowed revenge.

Stay tuned for further developments...

Letter to the American Taxpayer


Dear Congress:
Please consider my request for a bridge loan so that I can continue to support the Twiggy family. Without a bridge loan I'll be unable to continue to pay our bills and meet our monthly obligations. We've really tried hard the last number of years but somehow we just don't have enough money to pay for everything during these tough economic times. Without a loan we'll likely lose our home which will further exacerbate the housing crisis.
Our family has endured a number of difficult life circumstances recently and we need some added liquidity to get us through this difficult time. Please consider that the Twiggy family keeps a number of Americans employed; from the bartender at O'Malleys, to the clerk at Macy's, and lest we forget the little Indian guy at the tobacco shop. If we are unable to sustain our current lifestyle, and go bankrupt, many other Americans will be negatively affected, resulting in further job cuts and impacts to the economy.
If you agree to provide this loan, and help us during this difficult time, we'll make some changes to tighten our belts. We'll gradually cut out the Sushi dinners, reduce our alcohol consumption at the bar, and phase out all tobacco products over the next five years. We certainly don't expect the government alone to fix all of our financial problems.
If you are unable to assist us at this time we'll certainly be disappointed but we will survive, because we are survivors. If you can't approve our loan please forward this letter to the Welfare Department and request that an application for Welfare Support be mailed to our return address.
Thanks for your consideration.
Twiggy & Family